Strengthen Your Relationship with Metacognitive Therapy

Love, infatuation, and shared plans. That’s often how many relationships begin. But why doesn’t it stay that way, and what can you do to nurture your relationship so you can stand even stronger together?

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In metacognitive couples therapy, you get a unique opportunity to actively choose each other and make the relationship even better and stronger. You’ll gain insight into your own and each other’s unhelpful thought and behavior patterns, as well as how these can negatively impact your relationship.

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You might be facing specific problems or conflicts that you want to resolve. However, you don’t necessarily need major conflicts to benefit from couples therapy. Metacognitive couples therapy can be seen as a kind of check-up that helps strengthen your relationship and make it sustainable in the long run.​

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Metacognitive Couples Therapy

“Why doesn’t he ever help out?”, “It’s more important to her that the house is clean than spending time with me,” or “He always talks down to me!” These are statements we often hear from frustrated partners in our clinic.

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It’s normal to disagree and argue in a relationship. Statements like the ones above often lead to hours of rumination and arguments within the relationship—and passive-aggressiveness for those who avoid confrontation.

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Scientific studies show a link between relationship issues and anxiety, depression, and alcohol abuse. These consequences don’t just affect the couple but also their children, as parents under psychological pressure often end up using unhelpful strategies with their children, even though this is certainly not their intention.

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Does Working on Relationship Issues Help?

There’s a wealth of advice on how to improve your relationship—from talking to friends and reading self-help books to couples therapy that focuses on solving individual and shared problems by dwelling on instances where one partner has said or done something that’s been upsetting for hours over an extended period.

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Even with the best intentions to save the relationship, such approaches can backfire because they often involve shared rumination. Furthermore, they lack evidence of long-term effectiveness. Studies show that excessive shared rumination has negative consequences for our romantic relationships and our mental well-being.

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We’ve found that traditional approaches—shared rumination, analysis, self-help, and classic couples therapy—do not effectively improve relationships.

Unhelpful Strategies Perpetuate Problems

Many couples also rely too heavily on unhelpful strategies to solve their issues. These strategies typically include:

• Shared rumination: Couples dwell on their problems together for hours in an attempt to solve them.
• Worrying: Spending time worrying about the relationship, the future, or insecurity about each other.
• Arguments: Spending time fighting over disagreements.
• Threat monitoring: Keeping an eye on each other’s negative behavior.
• Signal analysis: Overanalyzing your partner’s behavior (“Why did he say that?”, “Why did she do that?”).

If couples spend hours daily dwelling on their disagreements in an effort to solve them, they often end up feeling more stuck in their thoughts and paradoxically worsening the relationship.

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The problems don’t get resolved, and the unpleasant emotions that arise linger for hours or even days. Perhaps that’s why American studies show that only 60% of people feel satisfied in their relationships.

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Think back to the last time you argued or analyzed your partner’s behavior. Did you really resolve the conflict? Did sadness, anxiety, or irritation linger afterward? Were you able to focus on your children, a walk, or your work?

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Tools Offered in Metacognitive Couples Therapy

In metacognitive couples therapy, you’ll gain tools to:

• Communicate better with each other.
• Collaborate more effectively.
• Let go of unhelpful strategies—both individually and in your relationship.
• Resolve unnecessary conflicts and handle necessary ones in a more constructive way.

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At Cektos, we see daily evidence that when couples reduce unhelpful strategies through metacognitive therapy, sadness, anger, and anxiety decrease significantly. Many clients report increased presence, energy, and intimacy in their relationship, alongside fewer conflicts.

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Would you like to hear more about our couples therapy or schedule an appointment with one of our psychologists? We’d love to hear from you. Please write to info@cektos.dk.